Odesa, the main port-city of Ukraine, has been the target of Russian bombings since 2022. The attacks intensified after Russia withdrew from the grain agreement. Tatsiana Ashurkevich spent a few days in the city and found among its residents a mix of fatalism, fatigue, and determination against the Russians.
“These scumbags!”
The bus from Kyiv arrives in Odessa at 11:00 PM. The resort city used to be always full of tourists, who would be greeted with live music, but now only the air raid siren can be heard. As the driver approaches the bus station, it gets louder. Telegram channels report a ballistic threat—if the Russians decide to launch a missile from Crimea, it will get here in one and a half minutes. People don't seem particularly worried: restaurant doors remain open, couples stroll on the sidewalks, and groups of young people continue to laugh loudly. As I settle into the apartment, I keep receiving messenger notifications to stay vigilant. I find out where the nearest air raid shelter is and try to calculate how long it would take me to reach the underground parking lot.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
The Ukrainian army cancels the air alert for two hours. The house where I am staying becomes quiet. I open the window a little to reduce the likelihood of it breaking in case of an explosion, draw the curtains, and go to bed. Half an hour later, news comes that Shahed drones are approaching from the Black Sea. The alarm is back on—this time with the warning "Take cover urgently!" The building is coming to life.
The first explosion occurs just as I manage to put on one shoe. I hear the next one as I finish putting on the second. In this chaos, cortisol and adrenaline start to dominate, and I can barely focus enough to run down the stairs to the ground floor. A man in slippers stands in front of the open door through which the wind is blowing. He stares fixedly at the sky and takes a drag from his cigarette. In the background, "fireworks" are launched—that’s what the locals call the activity of the air defense systems trying to shoot down the Shahed drones. Going outside at this hour is a questionable decision. The man doesn't seem bothered by it: he slowly throws the cigarette on the ground, crushes the glowing butt, shrugging and mumbling "These scumbags!", and continues to watch.
Those he calls that are using Shahed drones to attack the yard of a residential building in the port area. Telegram channels report that a fire has broken out. This causes a bit more unease among my neighbors, and people begin to go down to the shelters. In the underground parking lot, the cars are surrounded by benches and chairs. People come with their pets and occupy the free spaces. Men are holding their women who are trying to nap. A fight breaks out between two dachshunds and a cat. The quiet conversations, the barking dogs, and the alarms triggered by explosions plunge you into a bizarre state: everything feels like it's happening in a realistic dream.
"They usually torture us at night with the bombings, and somehow we've gotten used to them. At first, when it was still new, no one could sleep, everyone had dark circles under their eyes. But now the missiles have become a routine," says Alina thoughtfully, sitting next to me on one of the wooden chairs along the wall. "On the other hand, they haven't shot drones at us for a long time. They say this is their response to the Americans' decision to grant us a new aid package."
When the anti-aircraft alarms no longer make you feel like you're on the front line, people slowly return to their apartments. I manage to sleep for three hours, until 7 in the morning. The air raid siren starts sounding outside, and from the next room a man loudly shouts, "I can't take it anymore, damn it!" People go back down to the shelter, but this time to hide from a missile. And although it is shot down, after the alarm is canceled, the body remains too tense to sleep. I drive to the site of last night's fire.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
"Why should I be afraid? We’re all going to die, if not today, then tomorrow"
It is a 20-minute drive from the city center to where the three explosions took place during the night. I wait for the photographer and think about the fact that the sun, the breeze and the beauty of the local streets are once again giving the city the atmosphere that tourists used to come here for. It’s an idyllic five minutes of silence, until notifications start appearing on the phone that reconnaissance drones are flying over the city. In the sky, the anti-aircraft defense begins its activity again. One, two, three, four... 15 strikes are heard above us.
- Yes, Marinuska, I’ll meet you at your place tonight. Yes, I bought everything, I'll bring wine, we'll talk about your fiancé, - says a woman passing by and laughing on the phone. All the while, above her, attempts to shoot down reconnaissance drones continue. It seems like it’s no concern of hers.
As I wait, the characters in front of me are changing: two men are arguing in harsh terms about something, parents are walking their children by the hand to the playground, girls are laughing as they head towards the city center. No one but me (anymore) notices the ongoing confrontation in the sky. I see an old lady selling jewelry and magnets. She is a typical representative of this resort city.
- There is such a battle in the sky, and you are standing here without any shelter, are you not afraid? – I ask her. In fifteen minutes, no buyer has approached her, so I don't think the risk she's taking is any worth.
The old lady looks at me with narrowed eyes that read resignation to such a naive question.
- Sweetheart, why should I be afraid? This is how God left things: we are all going to die, if not today, then tomorrow. But I have to earn money. Because of the Russians there is no more profit. Before, children from Kyiv used to come during the summer, parents also came. And now I just sit for days, waiting, and nothing sells. I hate them all, says Nina Gheorghievna waving her hands helplessly.
I find similar emotions – a mix of acceptance and hatred - among the people whose homes were hit by last night's Russian attack. The road to the place where the Shahed drone fell is surrounded by a red-white tape, fragments are scattered on the sand. We get out of the car and meet a long line of people. Many of them have had their windows smashed and tin blown off their roofs, so the mundane tarpaulin they are waiting to receive here is now an essential commodity. Some apartment owners, who have already been "lucky" to receive pieces of plywood, are boarding up their windows with them. At night, when the population of Odesa is under Russian bombardment, destruction becomes common. Even those who were not affected by the attacks take it personally: tomorrow, it could be you instead of your neighbors. That is why the fallen ceilings, plaster and broken glass are collected by almost everybody in the neighborhood.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
Nadejda says that her home is near the yard where the drone fell. The woman was "lucky" - in her apartment "only the windows were broken". She says that here in the port area, there’s always some bombing. The locals have two options: get used to them or leave.
– But, first of all, where would I be needed? Secondly, my father is severely disabled. And I have four dogs and three cats in my care. When they hear the sound of the alarm, they immediately look for a place to hide. I feel so sorry for them!
– How do you react?
– We’ve long got used to sleeping with explosions in the background. Believe me, to fall asleep you just have to get really tired at work, - she says.
“No one will welcome them – we will kill them all with our own hands”
I walk a little further among the shards - with each step I have to dodge more and more rubble, pieces of cloth and glass. I notice that downstairs, two men are trying to decide what to do about the missing door. Oleg and Alina (names have been changed – auth. n.) say that, in the morning, a shock wave shattered the door of the apartment, after which a fire broke out inside. Oleg puts down the hammer and pauses to tell what happened.
– We woke up when we heard something flying above us. Then suddenly there was silence, I felt the breath of the explosion and saw the fire. Everything was on fire, on both sides. We ran to save people with small children. Through the upstairs window we saw a woman with a child and we went to help them out. It was an indescribable chaos..., - says Oleg. - Then the people from the Ministry of Emergency Situations came and started cleaning the rubble. They told us what procedures to follow to get compensation. Now we can't live here anymore, so we'll go to relatives for a while, just like everyone else.
– Haven't you thought of going to Kyiv or abroad? You are constantly under bombardment, and this can keep repeating, – I ask Alina.
– I work as an intensive care nurse and I really like my job. I'm afraid to go abroad. We have nothing there. In Kyiv, too, I should look for a new job, live with friends. For now, it's hard for me to imagine that I could leave.
– What if the Russians get here anyway?
– It's something I think about every day. Rather, between resistance and life, I will choose life. This fight is very tiring. In general, of course, I have a negative attitude towards them. You work day in and day out to keep people healthy, and for them, shooting a missile is like drinking some water.
The surroundings in which all these things take place look like the set of a surrealist film. A few hundred meters away there lies the sea. In the surrounding streets, people sell shawarma and kvass, laughing and joking about everyday problems. Everyone is talking about the possibility of this yard being hit again, but instead of showing caution, the locals are doing the opposite. People stand in front of their completely destroyed apartments and collect the things that were lucky enough to survive: sneakers, faded carpets, unbroken plates. They laugh and joke about the fact that they’ve lost everything. And that they don't know what to do next.
- Serioga, I don't know where the hell to go! But you? - smiles a man, taking off his sweaty T-shirt: all morning he cleaned debris dressed in that shirt – Play some music, we're not going to start crying, are we?
@Zelinskyi Pavel
A little further, behind some young people, I see Aleksey in a state of stupor. He is 67 years old. He scratches his gray beard and looks at the floor of the apartment – it’s in the same state of chaos as the others. I approach discreetly, and I can barely hear him telling his story, as if continuing a conversation with himself:
- I was sitting in my bedroom, which faces the other side of the block, that's why it remained intact. Then, the "liberators" woke me up. All the windows got ripped out, the doors as well. There was a nightmarish rumble! My kitten was sleeping on this armchair here, – the man points to a dusty chair. – I thought he was killed, I felt so sorry for the little animal. And then I hear "meow" - he got hungry and came running, the moggie! - says Aleksey with tears in his eyes. – And what should I do now? I don't know, my dear. I'm going to stay with the neighbors. All of Ukraine is like this, there is no safe place anymore. Not even the Germans bombed Odesa like this, unlike our abnormal neighbors. So, if they get here, no one will welcome them - we will kill them all with our own hands.
– I noticed that in Odessa people are quite reserved in terms of their attitude towards the Russians. Unlike you. Why's that?
– And how would you react if someone came to your house, killed your relatives, destroyed your house?
- I was thinking the same thing. But people say you have to choose life – even under occupation.
– Young people must take care of themselves. But I have nothing left to lose. You see, I lost everything, - says the man, showing me the apartment. - Damn fools, I would get them in the house and tell them: "Guys, look what you liberated me from. You liberated me from my apartment, you liberated me from gas, what else would you liberate me from?”
@Zelinskyi Pavel
As the locals are trying to clean up the debris, I notice two people having breakfast on the side of the road. An elderly woman keeps carrying something from the damaged house, places it on the table and continues to talk quietly with the man. I eavesdrop and realize they're talking about very unrelated topics - seeds, cat food and a television series. On the table there is a bottle of water, unwrapped plastic food bags and a sliced cake. The main conclusion of the morning: even if your home is destroyed by Shahed drones, this is no reason to give up your usual routine.
"We cannot bear to live in such conditions all the time"
For the next night I hold out some little hope for a sound sleep. Early in the morning I realize that I’ve been naive. I can hear the anti-aircraft alarm, an explosion, another explosion, I get messages on my phone about rockets hitting a military unit and residential buildings.
I'm driving to the scene of the attack. Everything repeats itself: the locals stand in line behind the tarpaulin, the volunteers ask what they can do to help the injured, the rescuers and the firemen go around the area. Two elderly women - Svetlana and Lyudmila - tell each other where they were when the explosion occurred.
- I was sleeping this morning. Suddenly there’s a rumble: I quickly jumped to the window, and there the blinds got pulled and the flowers started to fall. One got tangled in a string and I set to untie it. And at that moment – boom, the second time! It threw me behind the armchair. Then silence, and the third explosion. Then I ran outside. When I returned, everything was broken, the ceiling was on the floor, the sheet on the roof - shattered, - the woman says. – And I was still lucky. I have glass, the guys in the neighborhood will fix my windows. But the roof... I have to buy sheet metal, I can't leave it like that.
Her neighbor, Lyudmila, raises her hands and begins to cry. She says she can't forgive the Russians for what's happening in the city now.
– What can you say about these people after something like that? So many children are suffering... This missile... It's whirring, whistling so loud, flying above our heads - you don't know where it's going to land. After everything that’s happened, the only reaction I can have towards the Russians: I want them dead! - the woman raises her voice. – We live in a private house with one floor, we could have just collected the fallen plaster, but there everything has fallen, starting with the hall, there are cracks in the ceiling, the entrance doors have been torn off... I just don't know what to do now.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
Olga is spreading the curtain, holding the briefcase with one hand. From time to time the woman sighs heavily and utters in a drawling voice: "Oh, what a trouble…”.
- Last week we also had an explosion nearby and when I came home from work I saw that my window on the other side of the house had been broken. And now on this side. The ceiling fell in my living room and bedroom. Luckily, I was in another room then. I immediately ran to the market, bought cellophane to cover the hole in case it rained – the woman tells slowly, while, in the background, the rescuers ask everyone to move away because of the danger of a second strike. – I never had a good opinion of the Russians, but now I don't even know what to tell you. I have a terrible opinion about them! Cursed be they for such a "liberation"!
In addition to rescuers and locals, soldiers are also present at the scene – a military site had been targeted by the Russians. The representative of the Ukrainian Southern Defense Forces, Dmytro Pentelychuk, says that ordinary residents of the city who’ve been unlucky enough to live nearby always suffer as a result of these strikes.
- They are trying to destroy all our infrastructure - that makes sense. But they hit residential buildings. Of course, the only thing that could help our people is air defense systems. In addition, we need conventional weapons to be able to repel the Russian attacks.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
Locals continue to sit together, discussing where to claim compensation, how to fill out paperwork and "how fed up we are with all this". Everyone is convinced that if the elderly has nowhere to go, the young should definitely look for a safe place to live. I'm going to ask the young people what they think about this and I approach two girls. Ulyana and Svetlana sit silently on a bench, basking in the sun. They both left the city after the full-scale invasion began and returned here for five days to visit their loved ones.
– We are first year students at the university and sometimes we visit our relatives – after all, this is our home. But we have decided that we cannot bear to live in such conditions all the time. The bombings that have hit Odesa in recent days are somehow tolerable. But a month ago, drones were constantly flying over the house. It is simply impossible to get used to it, - says Ulyana.
– And how many young people generally leave here? I thought I saw a lot of people our age in town.
– It is difficult to estimate: I would say that as many leave as they come. Mainly people come here from regions where it is absolutely terrible to live. And there are still those who have elderly parents in Odesa or who have a business. It's hard to leave everything behind. But I’ve decided that I have the chance to live these years in a more or less peaceful place and to spend them in a useful way.
A little further, closer to one of the ports, I notice three young men. The boys are rather reserved, but admit the essential: they now feel "unfree" in Odessa.
– I am already 18 years old and I am not allowed to leave the country. This is very depressing because I don't want to fight. Otherwise, I would definitely have left to build a career, - says Daniel. – The war has been going on for three years already, and that is very burdening. But in such a situation there is nothing left for you to do - you realize that someone has to fight against the Russians. They used to annoy me even before the war: they were aggressive towards us and making bad jokes about us. So, we curse them online and prepare for mobilization.
– If they risked entering Odesa, how would they be received in the city by people your age?
– Definitely very bad. The older ones, I think, would be calmer - they still remember the "good relations" with their neighbors from the Soviet period. But to us, the Russians are simply awful.
@Zelinskyi Pavel
In the evening, the park near the ports becomes less lively: the probability that the Russians will attack this territory again is too high. People are moving closer to the beaches and the city center - to walk on the main street, Derybasivska. I’m getting on the bus back to Kyiv when the air-raid alarm goes off again in the city. It won't stop until midnight, when the Russians decide to stop testing the resistance of the residents of Odesa to missiles and insomnia.
